Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Changing Priorities

Fire has a way of changing priorities.  We had been putting most of our energy, time, and money into getting the house finished before we start on any new projects. 

 Fire fighters have saved my home twice, when we lived across town, we had the best driveway on our side of the street so they set up camp there. 1997 I was pregnant going for our first ultrasound of our baby and waited until the last moment to leave because I wanted Darling Husband to be with me.  We passed on the road and the whole time I was at the doctor I kept expecting him to show up.  When I got home I was furious as he happily showed me that he had cut the branches near our house.  I was stayed angry until 4 days later a fire swept through our valley.  We evacuated but Darling Husband was across the street watching and thought there was no way our house had been saved – several hours later he walked up our driveway to see if anything was left and our home was still there. The other time 2003 a team waiting to be called to duty decided to go they also set up camp at my house. They broke into the house used the kitchen and bathroom and left us a note we will always be thankful for those fire fighters. We had been camping at the dessert so had no idea we went to the fire command center and were told our whole area had burned. It was days before we found out our home had been saved.

We were given a water tank with holes in it if we could get it off of the property it was on, so we have had this lovely project sitting on the property waiting for it to hit the top of the priority list.  The fires we had a few weeks ago rearranged our list.  We leveled an area for both water tanks.  We wanted the tanks on the top of the property but we didn't want to upset a neighbor with eyesore water tanks so many discussions have gone into the placement of the tanks.  Dug and installed new water lines and repaired the holes in the “new” tank.  Disconnected the tank that we have been using, then moved both tanks to the top of our property and finished the plumbing.  
Our fire prevention team approving the new location. 


Neglect is one of the worse things you can do to the human brain.  When a mother holds her crying infant talking to it and soothing it brain synapses are formed to help the baby learn to calm down.  When the baby smiles and is smiled back at more synapses are formed and the infant learns that calming down and smiling are good and happy.  If no one is there for the baby it does not form the synapses in the brain to allow it to learn to calm down. 

Almost exactly 9 years ago a beautiful 4 year old came into my life.  She was full of fear and anger but she was also immensely imaginative and when she was happy she would light up a room.  We worked as a family to heal the neglect she has suffered by her birth family.  My husband and I worked to get her the help she needed, we researched different parenting styles and through classes and counseling we adapted our parenting to meet her needs. 
We have had amazing successes.  Two years ago a prescription drug was subscribed and we were not thrilled with how she was acting but decided to ask her how she felt before we made any changes, She looked at us and said, “You really do love me.  It isn’t just something that you say”.  I cannot imagine what it is like to live in a brain that didn’t allow all the love our family and friends had given her in. 

Our daughter decided she didn’t want to live with us anymore, as time went on she started threatening me and her brothers whenever she didn’t get her way.  We have had counseling 5 days a week for the past few months, sent her to a short term facility that specializes in helping runaways transition to being back home.  Unfortunately my daughter’s anger and violence have made it so she is no longer safe at home.  We have been working with adoption specialists to figure out the best treatment for her.  We are sending her to a school that specializes in Reactive Attachment Disorder.  This is not a decision we have made lightly.  This is in no way giving up on her; this is getting her the help she needs.